good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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