never play flip cup with pint glasses
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Randomize
