I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
look no pants
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize