It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize
