didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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