Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I came so hard my ears popped.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
