If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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