somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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