I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize