What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize