my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize