I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
