I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
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I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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