she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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