Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize