talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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