What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
