it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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