Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
