Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
