break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize