hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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