...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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