She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
