To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize