Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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