wanna go halves on a baby?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
