All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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