Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
