My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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