Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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