U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
