why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
