dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
