You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
