if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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