but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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