I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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