So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Green mimosas i think yes
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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