am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
