I'm really into asian looking animals
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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