are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
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She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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