What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
