Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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