just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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