highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
