were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
