Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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