i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
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Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
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I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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