he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
