Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
