how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
