she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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