This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
