It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
