I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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