My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
