he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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