I'm eating all of the evidence.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
