Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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