He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Randomize
