toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
