Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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