ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
