Me too!
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
